


Of Frogs and Ninja

by cali0623



Category: Naruto
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-12
Updated: 2009-03-12
Packaged: 2017-10-09 05:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cali0623/pseuds/cali0623
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was supposed to be a routine sparring session. But when Naruto gets distracted while attempting to use his new technique, the results are disastrous. Once again, it's up to Sasuke to fix the idiot's mistake</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Frogs and Ninja

"A frog."

"Shut up."

"Your special jutsu turns you into a frog."

"I said shut up!"

"Would you like me to go catch a few flies for you?"

"Fuck you, bastard! If you hadn't distracted me, this wouldn't have happened!" The little amphibian glared up at the man standing above him in a desperate attempt to look menacing.

The dark haired man's mouth twitched, and a smirk slowly formed on his normally stoic face. "It's not my fault you can't perform your techniques properly,"

The frog promptly exploded. "You cheated! You used that stupid Sharingan and threw my concentration off!"

"We were sparring, idiot," the man snorted disdainfully. "If you can't even concentrate during training, how can you expect to use any of your techniques in a real fight?"

The frog hopped up and down, screaming hysterically. "You sucked me into that fucking eye of yours! How am I supposed to concentrate when you stick me in some alternate fucking world?"

"If you had paid more attention, I never would have been able to catch you in the Mangekyo in the first place," the man reminded him condescendingly. "And seriously Naruto, what kind of idiot uses a technique that has side-effects like that when sparring, anyway?"

"I was _practicing_ asshole! You do remember what practice is, don't you?" Naruto snapped. "Oh wait. That's right. You're Uchiha Sasuke. You're perfect. You don't have to practice anything. Not when you've got those stupid _cheating_ eyes that just remember everything for you!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and adopted a bored look. "We already know that I'm perfect," he said dryly. "Now that you've finally admitted it, change back so we can continue. The sun will be going down soon."

Naruto opened his mouth to retort, and Sasuke steeled himself for another blistering response. But the explosion didn't come.

The amphibian had suddenly frozen. Eyes wide, the frog tilted his head down to look at his feet. Slowly, he lifted one of his front legs, bringing it closer to his face. Naruto stared, mouth agape, at the webbed appendage that should have been a hand.

"Oh fuck."

Quickly, the frog jumped off the rock he had been perching on, and hopped over to a knapsack laying on the edge of the training pit. The creature disappeared under the flap, and Sasuke could see him moving around inside the bag, searching for something. A moment later, the small, circular mirror that Naruto used for shaving while on missions was pushed out and onto the ground, Naruto following closely behind. He crouched over the mirror and Sasuke could hear his breath catch when he saw his reflection.

"I really am a frog," he whispered.

Sasuke snorted. "You mean you didn't know?"

The amphibian looked up at him, a look of horror on his face. "I just assumed I looked the way Jiraiya did when he went into his sage form. It's happened before, but never like this..."

"You didn't notice your size?"

Naruto scowled, and crossed his arms over his chest. "I wasn't really paying attention at first, OK?"

"How can you not notice that you are only six inches tall? Even _you_ can't be _that_ oblivious," Sasuke stared down at his teammate in disbelief.

Naruto huffed and turned away from Sasuke. He stared back into the mirror in dismay. His once-attractive face had been stretched and contorted beyond recognition. His cheeks had swollen, and his nose had merged into a slightly elongated snout. Skin that had been tan and smooth, was now a sickly shade of brownish-green, and covered in warts and other assorted bumps.

A webbed foot reached up to touch the side of his face. "How could you do this to me?" he murmured forlornly.

Sasuke blinked. "Do what?"

The amphibian whipped around. Bright blue, and undoubtedly human eyes glared accusingly up at the man. "You saw me turning into a frog, and you didn't let me out of the damn Mangekyo."

"So?" Sasuke shrugged. "A real opponent wouldn't have released you just because you were changing forms. I should have gone easy on you? How will you ever get better if -"

"Damnit bastard! Fukasaku said that if I didn't have a perfect balance while channeling natural energy, I would turn into a frog! You saw I had lost control of it, and you just let it happen!"

"Again, so?" Sasuke rolled his eyes in annoyance. "You lost control and turned into a frog. Re-balance the energy, and change back." The man turned away from his teammate, and started to walk towards the sword he has discarded during the sparring session.

"I can't!"

Sasuke froze mid-step. Slowly, he turned back to stare at the frog incredulously. "You what?"

"I can't!" Naruto wailed. "Fukasaku said that if I turned all the way into a frog, I would be stuck in that form forever! Now look at me!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger up at the man. "This is all your fault! You and your stupid Sharingan!."

A knot of dread began to form in the pit of Sasuke's stomach. "Naruto - "

Ignoring Sasuke, the frog continued ranting hysterically, "I'm going to be stuck like this forever! I'll never be Hokage now! Sakura-chan will never go out on a date with me like this!"

Sasuke's heart began to pound in his chest, and his mouth suddenly felt very dry. Once again, he tried to get his friend's attention. "Naruto, we can - "

Naruto's eyes suddenly widened, and he shrieked in horror, "Oh my God! I'll have to marry some ugly frog!" Head in hands, he started to rock back and forth. "I won't have kids! I'll have _tadpoles_!"

Trying to calm his own quickly rising panic, Sasuke took a deep breath. Realizing that his fingers had begun digging into his palms, he forced his hands to return to a relaxed position. He stepped towards Naruto, and attempted to reason with his teammate. "Naruto, you need to calm down. There has to be a way to reverse this," he said tersely.

"No! There isn't! This is permanent! Once I'm like this, there's no going back!"

"That's impossible. There _has_ to be a way," Sasuke bit out, desperation beginning to creep into his voice.

The frog began to hyperventilate. "No! No, there isn't! I told you! Fukasaku said - "

Sasuke's control finally snapped. "I don't care what that goddamn frog said!" he roared, startling Naruto into silence. The frog stared up miserably at his teammate, waiting for him to continue.

Fighting to regain control of his emotions, Sasuke closed his eyes, and ran his hand through his hair distractedly. He took another deep breath, calming himself. Once he trusted himself to speak again, he bit out, "You said that this happened before - "

"Not like this!"

Sasuke's eyes snapped open, and he fixed his friend with a hard stare. "You said this happened before - " He held up a hand as Naruto opened his mouth to respond. "Not to this extent, but it _has_ happened before. Correct?"

The frog nodded sullenly.

"And, exactly how did you stop yourself from changing?"

"I didn't. Fukasaku stopped me."

_"How?"_

"He would hit me with his stick to knock the natural energy out of my system."  
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Hit you. With a stick?"

Naruto nodded.

"That's it?"

Naruto nodded again.

Sasuke turned quickly, and started heading towards the trees lining the training grounds.

"Where are you going?"

"To get a stick."

"You can't just hit me with a stick, bastard!" the frog squeaked in alarm.  
Sasuke continued to walk towards the trees. "Watch me."

"No! It was some kind of special staff. It was the only one in existence! You can't just hit me with any random hunk of wood! It won't work!"

Sasuke paused, and turned to face his teammate. "You sure about that?" he asked, eyes narrowing skeptically.

"Of course I'm sure! Only Fukasaku's stick can do it!"

"Fine," Sasuke muttered, disappointment evident in his voice. He stalked back to the rock Naruto was perched on and glared down at the little frog. "Then summon him already."

Naruto stared up at the man in confusion. "Summon him?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Fukasaku, idiot. Summon him, and have him hit you with the stick."

Naruto's eyes narrowed, and he glared up at his teammate. "That's not funny, bastard!"

Sasuke blinked in confusion. "What are you - " Suddenly, his eyes widened as comprehension dawned on his face and he realized why Fukasaku wouldn't be able to help in this situation. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I wasn't thinking," he said softly.

The frog nodded sullenly, and look at the ground, his face remorseful. Naruto's sadness was almost palpable, making Sasuke wince. The man watched his teammate for a moment, at a loss as to what else he should say. He shifted uncomfortably, and waited for Naruto to restart the discussion.

After a few minutes, it became apparent to the man that Naruto was lost in his thoughts, and would not be initiating any further conversation. Unable to bear his teammate's silence any longer, Sasuke decided to bite the bullet. "Would any of the other frogs still have the stick?" he asked gently.

The frog raised his head and stared up at Sasuke in confusion.

Sasuke sighed internally, but he kept his voice soft. "Fukasaku's stick. Would any of the other frogs have taken it after his death?"

The amphibian looked thoughtful. "Shima probably has it. I think I remember her picking it up after he – " Naruto's voice broke. He blinked quickly, and visibly struggled to retain his composure. "After he – you know. I'm pretty sure she has it," he finished quickly.

"You should summon her then."

The frog's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Summon her?"

Sasuke gave a brief nod. "If she has the stick, summon her and have her hit you with it."

Naruto's eyes widened, expression hopeful. "Hey! That might work!" A hideous grin stretched across the frog's face. "You're a genius Sasuke!" Sasuke smirked and rolled his eyes as the frog bit a webbed finger, and started to perform the summoning seals.

After his fourth try, Naruto finally managed to get his digits to move correctly, and he was able to perform the jutsu. The frog sat back with a self-congratulatory smile on his face. "She should be here any minute."  
Sasuke sniffed condescendingly, and sat down on a nearby tree stump to await the arrival of the frog with the stick.

Fifteen minutes later, frog and man were still sitting on their respective perches, glaring at each other.

"You fucked it up, didn't you?"

"I did not! I did it perfectly!"

"Then where is she?"

"She's probably busy. She'll be here soon."

"You fucked it up"

"I did not! I felt it work that last time!"

Sasuke snorted, "It took you enough tries."

"You try to perform seals with _these_ as fingers, asshole!" Naruto waved a webbed hand at Sasuke.

"If you had better control of yourself, you wouldn't _have_ those fingers," Sasuke reminded him smugly.

Naruto jumped off his rock and hopped over to Sasuke. "And if you hadn't _cheated_ I wouldn't have lost control!" he yelled up at the man.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and sighed in exasperation, "I didn't cheat, idiot."

"Bullshit! You never could have beaten me without those eyes and you know it! You can't do anything without them!"

Sasuke glared down at the amphibian. "You do realize I could just step on you, right?" He asked coldly. "I don't need the Sharingan to smoosh you."

The frog sputtered in indignation. "You - you wouldn't!"

"Try me," Sasuke growled.

The frog and man glared at each other, each daring the other to blink. After a minute, Naruto huffed and turned away. He hopped back to his rock, and flopped dramatically onto it, his back to his teammate. Sighing, he rest his head on his front legs, and stared out over the field. The sun had begun to set, casting a warm orange glow over the two ninja. The training grounds were now empty; and with the exception of Naruto's loud and theatrical sighs, and Sasuke's answering haughty and condescending snorts, the area was quiet, and relatively peaceful.

Man and frog continued to 'ignore' each other for another ten minutes. Finally, Naruto broke the stalemate. "Shima isn't coming. What am I going to do Sasuke?" he whined dejectedly.

He looked over at his teammate, and was surprised to see the man staring intently at him.

"What?" he asked nervously.

"You said that it is a matter of forcing the natural energy out right?"

Naruto sighed dejectedly, and looked back out over the training grounds. "Yeah."

"So theoretically, if a foreign chakra was forced through your system, it might be able to push it out," Sasuke mused.

The frog shrugged. "I guess."

"Have Kyuubi do it."

"Huh?" Naruto sat up and turned towards Sasuke, a blank look on his face.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Have Kyuubi push his chakra through your system, and force the natural energy out."

"Are you crazy?" Naruto yelled. "If I let Kyuubi do that, he could try to take control of me! I could destroy the whole village!"

"That won't happen."

"It could! Yamato's on a mission! He won't be here to stop me if I lose control!"

"If you lose control, I'll stop you."

It was Naruto's turn to roll his eyes in exasperation. "And just how do you plan to do that? You don't know how to perform that jutsu! You were never around when he used it, so you couldn't have copied it with your..." Naruto gazed up to see Sasuke smirking down at him, Sharingan spinning lazily. "Oh." He looked back at the ground, grumbling. "Stupid eyes."

"I can suppress Kyuubi if he tries to take over," Sasuke reminded him smugly.

"I don't know," the frog said hesitantly.

Sasuke sighed in exasperation. "You know I can. You saw me do it that time I was in your head. There's no way you could have forgotten."

Naruto snorted. "Oh no. I remember. That was what? The second time you tried to kill me? Fun times."

"Are we going to get into that again?" Sasuke ground out through clenched teeth. "Because if we are, I'm going home, and you can go set up your new lily pad down by the swamp."

"Fine! Fine! I'll try it! Just watch me closely, and if I start changing - "  
Sasuke's eye began to twitch. "Just do it moron."

"And don't smoosh me!"

"Naruto..." Sasuke growled.

The frog's eyes went blank, and his body slumped. Sasuke watched the amphibian closely with the Sharingan to monitor for any chakra spikes. After a minute, he saw a small surge of red chakra followed quickly by a second. Sasuke smirked. It appeared that the demon wasn't pleased about being stuck in the body of a frog any more than Naruto was. There was a third surge of chakra as the demon once again attempted to purge the natural energy.

The red chakra flared again, and Sasuke's smirk was replaced by a frown. The first three surges had been small, but the fourth one was even smaller. It wasn't strong enough to power a simple jutsu, let alone force out the natural energy. When the chakra surged for a fifth time, even weaker than before, Sasuke's scowl deepened. "The demon's just as big of a screw-up as he is," he muttered.

Sasuke leaned over and scooped up the frog. Resting his elbows on his knees, he tilted Naruto's head up so he could see into the lifeless eyes. The Sharingan started to spin quickly, and suddenly Sasuke found himself up to his knees in water, and standing in front of a massive cage.

Quickly scanning the area, Sasuke took in the details of his new surroundings. With the exception of the filmy haze that seemed to blanket the area, everything was as he remembered. The chamber was empty, save for the structure that housed the demon. An unknown light source cast a red glow across the darkened room, and caused the gilded metal bars of the cage to shimmer. A single, intricate seal was placed on what appeared to be the door of the cage.

Curiosity piqued, Sasuke stepped forward to inspect the piece of paper that had restrained the nine-tailed demon for so many years.

"Look who decided to drop in" a voice rumbled from deep behind the bars.

"I didn't say you could come in here, asshole!" Sasuke turned to see Naruto standing a few feet away from him, in his natural form. His hands were on his hips, and he was glaring menacingly at Sasuke.

Sasuke shrugged. "You seemed to be having trouble. Figured I would need to come in to fix it before you messed something up even worse."

Naruto scowled. "Funny, asshole." He quickly glanced over at the cage, and back at Sasuke, a defeated look on his face. "Kyuubi can't push the energy out either. He says that it's blocking full access to his chakra. He was able to force some chakra out, but it wasn't enough."

"It wouldn't have mattered anyway," the deep voice came again.

Sasuke looked back to the cage and saw a mass of red and black fur. He looked up into the demon's face and scowled. "And why is that?"

"This energy," the beast waved a paw through the room, "can only be pushed out by foreign chakra. My chakra isn't foreign to Naruto. Even when he is not actively drawing on it, the residue is still flowing through his system. Even if I were able to draw on my full reserves, I wouldn't be able to push anything out."  
Sasuke nodded in comprehension, and slowly a smirk formed on his lips. "So basically what you are saying is that you are useless."

The demon narrowed its eyes. "Come into my cage Uchiha, and I'll show you just how useless I can be."

Sasuke snorted. "Is that before or after I evaporate you again?"

The demon reared back, and snarled. Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and he stepped forward, as if to walk through the bars of the cage. Immediately, Naruto jumped forward, catching Sasuke's arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" he hissed. "Don't rile him up! I 'm the one who's going to have to deal with him once you're gone. Do you have any idea what it's like to have him rampaging through your mind?"

Sasuke paused, and looked at his friend. The worry on Naruto's face was evident. Slowly, Sasuke assumed a look of boredom. "Whatever. I'll meet you outside." He cast a look back at the cage, and the fuming demon. "It's obvious that he's just as useless as you are."

Immediately, he disappeared from the room.

Sasuke's consciousness returned to the training grounds with the screams of "Motherfucker!" and "Asshole!" still echoing in perfect unison in his head.

He glanced down at the frog in his hands. His eyes were still glazed. Assuming that both the demon and its host would be raging for a while, Sasuke set Naruto back down on his rock. He sat back down on his log, and watched the amphibian.

A moment later, the frog blinked slowly, as if waking from a dream. Suddenly, his head snapped towards Sasuke, and bright blue eyes glared out at him from the hideous face. "What the hell, bastard! Did you have to say that? He's still screaming about you! I'm never going to get to sleep tonight with him like this!"

Sasuke sighed. "Naruto, a demon throwing a temper tantrum in your head is the least of your worries right now."

"Oh, that's easy for you to say!" the frog retorted angrily. "You don't have to listen to him!"

"Damnit Naruto. Do you want to stay like this?"

"No!"

"Then stop fixating on the damn fox and help me figure out how to fix this!" Sasuke yelled back at him.

Naruto crossed his arms in front of his chest and snorted. "You try it sometime," he grumbled petulantly.

"Fine. Figure it out yourself." Sasuke moved to stand up. "Good luck with that lily pad."

Naruto raised his hands placatingly. "OK! OK! I'm sorry! I 'm focusing on the problem at hand!"

Sasuke nodded once in acknowledgment, and slowly sat back down. "_Think_ Naruto. Did the frogs mention any other way to force you back into your real form?"

The frog flopped down onto the rock miserably. "No. Fukasaku specifically told me that the stick was the only way."

Sasuke leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and steepleing his fingers in front of his face. He stared closely at the amphibian, lost in thought.

"Sasuke?"

"Let me think, idiot."

After a few minutes, Naruto seemed to grow uncomfortable with the close scrutiny. With a sigh, he turned to look towards the abandoned training grounds. The sun had finally gone down. Dusk had fallen, and the nocturnal creatures were waking up. Crickets chirped merrily, and twinkling fireflies dotted the field. It was a beautiful sight.

The frog sighed forlornly.

Sasuke pointedly ignored Naruto, and focused on the problem affecting them both. He didn't expect his teammate to come up with an answer to the current dilemma. He knew Naruto would never be able to come up with a way to reverse the effects of the energy imbalance on his own. As much as he hated it, Sasuke was stuck trying to save the idiot - again. He sighed to himself as he continued to run through different scenarios.

Sasuke was so deep in thought that he almost didn't react when something long and thin shot past his face. He looked up just in time to watch the appendage's return trip into Naruto's mouth.

Sasuke stared at the frog in disbelief. "Did you just eat a fly?"

Naruto looked up at Sasuke, eyes wide in horror. Slowly, he opened his mouth. A wet, but otherwise unharmed firefly flew out.

Sasuke's face screwed up in revulsion. "That's disgusting."

The frog sputtered in indignation. "I didn't do it on purpose! I was just lying there - _not_ fixating on Kyuubi - and the next thing I knew, my tongue was shooting out of my mouth!" Naruto shuddered. "Oh God, that was so gross!"

Sasuke scowled. "If you don't start helping me figure out how to fix you, you're going to be eating a lot more of those. Now think!"

The amphibian sunk down to the rock again, mumbling something to himself about stupid cheating bastards and their stupid cheating eyes. Sasuke's lips twitched into a smirk but he didn't egg his teammate on further. He settled himself back into his original position, and attempted to pick up where he had left off.

The frog sat up suddenly. "Hey, what about that thing that Karin girl did to you?"

"No."

"But you said that she was able to force out those chakra blocks by forcing her chakra into you. Maybe we could - "

"I said no."

"But Sasuke!"

"No!"

"Fine, bastard. It was just an idea," Naruto grumbled, and collapsed onto the rock yet again. "No need to get so huffy," he added sullenly.

Sasuke pointedly ignored him.

The frog sighed dramatically, and rolled onto his back to look at up the sky. The stars were starting to come out, twinkling like fireflies in the rapidly darkening sky. The amphibian absently shot his tongue out, as if trying to catch one. Naruto sighed again.

"Hey Sasuke?"

"What?" came the exasperated response.

"Do you think old-man Ichiraku would be willing to add fly-flavored ramen to his menu?"

The explosion was immediate.

"Fine!"

The frog whipped his head around in shock at the furious response.

"What?"

"Let's just get this over with," Sasuke snarled as he began to remove the padded metal guard on his right arm.

Naruto sat up slowly, watching Sasuke warily. "What are you doing?"

"We're going to try Karin's trick," Sasuke replied shortly.

Naruto stared at his friend like he had lost his mind. "And how does your stripping fit into this?" he asked slowly.

Sasuke's eyes flashed red in warning. "I'm not stripping, moron." He tossed the guard on the ground.

"Then what are you doing?"

Sasuke began to roll up his sleeve. He spoke slowly, through gritted teeth. "You can't bite through the metal in my arm guards."

"What the hell does that have to do with it?"

"You're going to bite my arm."

"What!?!" Naruto screeched.

Sasuke took a deep breath, and tried to keep himself from yelling back at his teammate. "You have to bite my arm so you can suck my chakra out."

"Bite your arm? Suck your chakra out? Are you insane?"

Sasuke glared at the frog. "When I said that Karin forced her chakra into me, what exactly did you think she did?"

Naruto's arms flailed as he yelled back at his teammate. "I don't know! I thought she hit you or something! That's how the frogs did it!"

"If it was that easy, don't you think I'd have done it already?"

"But I don't _want_ to bite you! Isn't there _any_ other way?"

Sasuke paused for a second, his mind flashing to the only other way he had experienced a chakra transfer. He quickly recovered, shaking his head definitively, and praying that Naruto didn't noticed. "No. This is it."

Naruto noticed. "You're lying! There is another way!" He pointed a webbed finger at the man. "What, this is more fun for you? Do you get off on being bitten or something?"

Sasuke's eye twitched. "I do not 'get off' on being bitten, moron. This is the only way. There is no other option."

Naruto wagged his finger at Sasuke accusingly. "I can see it in your eyes! You're lying! What is it?"

Sasuke's face began to get warm. Quickly getting frazzled, Sasuke tried to stop Naruto's accusations. "Fine. There is another way, but we're not doing it." He looked at the frog almost pleadingly. "Would you just trust me that this is better than the other option?"

Naruto wasn't having it. "No! You are trying to get me to bite and suck on your arm! How could anything be worse?"

Sasuke mumbled something Naruto couldn't hear.

"What was that, bastard?"

"I said a mouth-to-mouth chakra transfer!" Sasuke shouted, thoroughly embarrassed now.

The frog stared at Sasuke wide-eyed. "What did you say?"

Sasuke growled, "You heard me."

"You mean we'd have to _kiss_?"

"No! I mean, I'd need to put my mouth on yours, and force chakra into you."

"Oh." The frog nodded slowly in understanding. "You'd kiss me."

Sasuke blew. "It wouldn't be a kiss!" he yelled. His Sharingan was spinning madly, and he looked mildly hysterical. "It would be a transfer of chakra! That's it! A stronger person forcing chakra into a weaker person. _It would not be a kiss!_"

Naruto cowered behind his rock. The man in front of him rarely lost control, and when he did, it was a terrifying sight. He held up two webbed hands in surrender.

"OK. OK. I'm sorry. You're right. No kis - " The Sharingan gave a threatening spin, and the amphibian corrected himself quickly. "I mean mouth-to-mouth chakra transfers," he finished sheepishly, a webbed hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.

His cheeks still warm, but temporarily pacified, Sasuke nodded shortly. "Let's get this over with." He sat down on the log, and held out his arm to Naruto.

The frog took a deep breath and hopped over to Sasuke. Once he was in front of his teammate, Naruto opened his mouth and leaned in. As he went to clamp down, a thought occurred to him. "Wait a minute. You let Karin kiss -" he stopped himself when he received a warning glare from the man above him. "I mean, mouth-to-mouth chakra transfer you?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "I did not _let_ her do anything. I was unconscious, and wasn't able to bite her. She had to force chakra into me."

A leering smirk lit up Naruto's face. "So you've both kissed _and_ bit her, huh? Kinky."

"It wasn't like that! How many times do I have to tell - " Before Sasuke had a chance to finish the sentence, sharp teeth sunk deep into his forearm. His breath hitched at the sudden pain. It wasn't intolerable, but the shock was enough to derail his tirade.

The Sharingan flared back to life, and he focused on pushing his chakra into Naruto. He could felt a steady, but weak stream of chakra leaving his body. The Sharingan spun intently, watching the chakra transfer closely. After a minute, a slight haze of chakra began to surround Naruto, but the frog's appearance remained unchanged.

"You need to suck harder Naruto."

An eye cracked opened, and squinted up at Sasuke. "I'm trying, asshole," he growled from around the flesh his teeth were currently buried in. "You push harder!"

Sasuke scowled, but concentrated on forcing more chakra into the creature latched onto his forearm. The color of Naruto's skin flickered from green to tan in response to the sudden surge of chakra, but quickly faded back to green. Encouraged, Sasuke pushed again, but the skin just flickered again before settling back into green. A third try yielded the same results.

"Shit. I thought this might happen," Sasuke murmured. "Naruto, stop."

The frog looked up at Sasuke in confusion. "Huh?"

"It's not working."

"But - "

"Let go of me," the man said threateningly.

Naruto reluctantly released Sasuke's arm, and sat back wiping his mouth. Sasuke looked down and grimaced. A small ring of tiny holes was left where The frog's teeth had sunk into his arm, and an ugly purple bruise was already forming inside the ring.

"Uh - sorry about that," the Naruto said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to give you a hickey."

Sasuke's eyes snapped to his teammate.

"So," Naruto quickly changed the subject, "what happened? Why did we stop?"

Sasuke glanced back at his arm. "It wasn't working. Not well anyway. My chakra was able to push out some of the natural energy, but only briefly. I wasn't able to push enough out of my arm to make any significant change."

"I thought you had great chakra control."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "I do," he said coldly. "But I don't exactly push chakra out of my forearm on a regular basis, idiot."

"Well then how could Karin do it?"

"She had a seal on her arm that was specifically designed so she could channel a massive amount of chakra from one specific place."

"Oh."

"There has to be a way to do this," Sasuke murmured to himself. He looked down at Naruto thoughtfully. "I suppose I could try using my full body Chidori. That might be enough to push the energy out."

"You are not Chidori-ing me, asshole!" Naruto yelled. "The last time left me with a giant hole in my chest! How the hell do you think this body would handle that? And with Kyuubi's chakra blocked, he won't be able to heal me!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'm not talking about _hitting_ you with it, moron. Just touching you."

"No! You'll fry me!"

"Fine! You think of something."

The frog paused for a moment. "Hey! What about Sakura-chan?"

Sasuke blinked. "Sakura?"

"Yeah! She has perfect chakra control remember? She could do it."

Sasuke shook his head. "She's not strong enough."

"She's not weak, bastard!" Naruto glared up at the man. "What the hell is wrong with you? You've seen what she can do! She can break huge rocks with just a tap of her finger!"

Sasuke sighed in exasperation, "That's not what I meant, moron. Yes, Sakura is powerful. Yes, she can break things with a flick of her wrist. But that's because she focuses all of her chakra, and forces it out in a quick, controlled burst. It's not sustainable. Not at that level anyway."

Naruto opened his mouth to argue, but Sasuke cut him off. "You have so much natural energy trapped in you right now that even Kyuubi can't function properly, remember? Sakura might be able to push some of it out, but the remaining energy would just fill in the gaps, negating any progress she made. That energy will only be forced out by a strong, continuous stream of chakra, and her reserves aren't large enough to handle that. Sakura would run out of chakra before she would be able to make any real progress."

"Oh," the frog responded, mollified. "So now what?"

Sasuke sighed and looked out over the training grounds. "Shima never showed. Kyuubi is worthless. Forcing chakra through a bite didn't work..." He looked over at his teammate. "You're sure you won't let me try the chidori?" he asked hopefully.

Naruto shook his head emphatically. "No chance in hell."

"It might work," Sasuke tried again.

"And if it doesn't, old man Ichiraku can add fried frog legs to his menu."

"Coward."

"Sasuke, look at me! I'm a fucking frog! Do you _really_ think chidori-ing me will do anything other than kill me?"

"It might."

Naruto gave his teammate a wry look.

Sasuke huffed and turned to look back out over the training grounds. "Fine."

Naruto sighed and followed his teammate's gaze. The moon had risen, and it hung high in the sky, casting a glow over the empty field. "Maybe it won't be so bad. Being a frog that is. I mean, I don't have to live in the swamp right? Maybe I could go live with Shima and the rest of the frogs. I could help her train other kids to be sages. It might be fun." He sighed sadly. "I really would have loved to be Hokage though."

Naruto squeaked in surprise when a hand suddenly grabbed him around the middle and hoisted him into the air. He was lifted until he was face to face with a very agitated Sasuke.

"What did I say this time?" Naruto winced as fingers squeezed his little body tightly.

"Nothing," came the hissed response. "And you will say nothing about this to anyone. If you do, I will kill you. Got it?" The fingers tightened menacingly.

"Say nothing about what?" the frog gasped.

Sasuke glared at Naruto, and the fingers tightened again. "I'm going to try another chakra transfer. If you tell anyone I did this, I swear to God, I will hunt you down and kill you. Painfully."

"Sasuke, let go! I can't breathe!" Naruto wheezed. The fingers loosened a little, and he took in a deep breath. "What are you talking about? I thought you said that you couldn't force enough chakra through your arm without a seal."

"I can't. I've never tried it before today, and it would take me too long to learn." Sasuke paused, looking for the correct way to phrase the next sentence. The amphibian eyed him suspiciously. "But to perform the Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu, I need to blow out a large amount of chakra. I've been doing it since I was a kid, so I should be able to keep a strong, steady stream going long enough to push the natural energy out of you," he added in a rush.

Naruto stared at Sasuke for a moment, clearly confused. Suddenly a look of horrified comprehension dawned on his face. "You're not kissing me, bast - " the frog's shriek was cut off by fingers tightening around his middle again.

"It's not a kiss," Sasuke hissed. "I'll be forcing chakra into your body. That's it." He shook the frog with every word. "It. Is. Not. A. Kiss. Got it?"

The frog nodded emphatically, and the fingers loosened. Naruto gasped for air.

"And if you tell anyone - "

"I know, I know. You'll kill me." Naruto finished the sentence sullenly. He looked down at the hand currently holding him, and muttered under his breath, "Fucking psycho."

"What did you say?"

"N- nothing!" Naruto smiled brightly at his teammate. "So are we going to do this or what?"

Sasuke didn't look convinced, but didn't push it. He settled himself back on the stump and held the frog out in front of him so that their eyes were level. "OK, now make sure you try to pull my chakra into yourself. Try to absorb it. Also, try to concentrate on pushing the natural energy out. Once enough of it is out, you should be able to re-balance yourself. I'm going to start off slow, and monitor it. If it doesn't appear to be working, I'll increase my output gradually. Concentrate, and try to pull my charka - "

"You said that already! You push, I pull. Got it. Can we just do this already? I'm getting hungry, and that moth over there is starting to look good."

Sasuke scowled, but didn't argue. The Sharingan activated, and started spinning lazily. "You ready?"

Naruto rolled his eyes and stared impatiently at his teammate.

Sasuke nodded and Naruto closed his eyes, a look of intense concentration on his face. The fact that he wasn't being stared at anymore seemed to relax the man, and he pulled the frog close to his face. When their lips were about an inch apart, Sasuke whispered, "Open your mouth."

Naruto dutifully obeyed, his little mouth cracking open wide. Sasuke repressed a shudder of disgust, and pressed his open mouth to the frog's.

He started slowly, pushing out just a little chakra to see how well Naruto absorbed it. When it didn't immediately rebound on him, Sasuke gathered up his reserves, and forced a larger amount into the frog's mouth. He was pleased when Naruto seemed to get a bit heavier. He forced the same amount into Naruto's mouth, and once again, he felt the weight in his hands increase. Satisfied that he had found a safe level, Sasuke relaxed a little. Closing his eyes to avoid staring at the hideous creature that was attached to his lips, he pushed once more and focused on keeping his output steady.

The weight in his hands increased steadily and after a minute, he felt a foot land on his knees. Almost immediately after, small hands gripped his shoulders. Sasuke opened his eyes, and saw that the frog had grown to almost two feet, and was still growing. He adjusted his hands around Naruto's waist, to hold him steady on his knee. Satisfied with the progress, he closed his eyes and went to back to concentrating.

After another minute, the weight on his knees shifted, and Naruto slid to the ground in front of him. Sasuke leaned forward uncomfortably to make sure their mouths were still attached. He felt the hand on his right shoulder move, and a second later, it was tapping his knee insistently.

Sasuke opened his eyes, and almost cringed. Although Naruto was almost back to his normal size, his face was still very much that of an amphibian. The snout still jutted out, making it easy to see the green skin and bulbous lumps marring the face. He felt another tap on his knee, and looked up to see two bright blue eyes staring back at him.

The eyes quickly looked down and then back up at him meaningfully. T he tap came again, this time on the inside of his knee. Sasuke got the hint, and he spread his knees, allowing Naruto to move in between his legs. Sasuke leaned back and into his original, more comfortable position. Seemingly satisfied with the new position, Naruto closed his eyes again. Sasuke did the same.

As he continued to push, Sasuke felt a strange warmth begin to envelop his body. Opening his eyes yet again, he saw a white haze surrounding himself and Naruto. Sasuke remembered it as the same haze that the demon had swatted at in its cage. Evidence that the natural energy was slowly, but surely being pushed out of Naruto. Pleased, he closed his eyes, and allowed himself to enjoy the comforting swirl of energy surrounding him.

Sasuke decided it was like sinking into a hot spring after a long day of training. It was soothing. Intoxicating. He found himself steadily relaxing, and when fingers ghosted along the nape of his neck, instead of threatening to cut off the offending digits, a contented sigh escaped his lips.

Sasuke's hand slowly moved to the center of Naruto's back. The rough, mottled skin was gone, and he marveled at the soft blemish-free skin that had replaced it. His hand tingled as he began to run it up and down Naruto's back, reveling at the silky feeling under his fingers. The swirling energy blanketed his skin sensually, and when fingers began to slowly caress the back of his neck, Sasuke hummed in pleasure. His head spun gently, and he didn't notice when his chakra output faltered.

The pressure on his mouth changed, and Sasuke felt something slide across his lower lip. Soft lips moved gently against his, and through his haze, he slowly realized that he was no longer mouth-to-mouth with a frog. He was about to pull away when a slick tongue brushed against his own, and a jolt of pleasure shot through him.

Sasuke froze.

Immediately, as if sensing danger, his teammate withdrew his tongue, and began to pull away. Sasuke's body screamed in frustration. Before Naruto could finish moving away, Sasuke's hands shot up to his head. Grabbing two hands-full of hair, he pulled Naruto back to him, and re-attached their lips.

Shocked for a moment, Naruto quickly recovered. He matched Sasuke's intensity, and deftly slipped his tongue back into his teammate's mouth. Chakra transfer completely forgotten, Sasuke groaned as their tongues slid against each other luxuriously.

A calloused hand cupped Sasuke's face, thumb rubbing gently along his jaw. Naruto sucked Sasuke's lower lip into his mouth, and Sasuke's breath hitched when he felt teeth brush against it. Keeping one hand buried in his teammate's hair to make sure he didn't pull away again, Sasuke slid his other hand onto Naruto's shoulder and then slowly down his back. Naruto shuddered, and pulled Sasuke closer. He sucked fiercely on Sasuke's tongue, dragging another lust-filled moan out of the other man.

Lost in the silky feel of Naruto's skin, Sasuke continued to slide his hand slowly up and down Naruto's back. Each time his hand went a little lower, and Naruto's breath became more and more ragged. When his hand finally slid down over the curve of Naruto's ass, the man jerked, and a loud, guttural moan of "Sasuke" echoed through the training grounds.

Sasuke's eyes shot open.

In an instant Naruto was shoved away, and Sasuke was on his feet, glaring down at the sputtering man below him.

"What the hell was that for, bastard?" Naruto yelled in outrage.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You kissed me!"

"Yeah? Well, you're the one who had my head in a death grip!"

"That was only after you stuck your tongue in my mouth!"

Naruto jumped up and stormed over to Sasuke. "Now wait just a minute! You weren't exactly an unwilling participant in this!" He waved a finger in Sasuke's face. "Your tongue was doing just as much as mine was!"

Sasuke went rigid, and a faint pink tinged his cheeks. He tried desperately to look anywhere but at the man standing in front of him, who was continuing his rant. "Also, that wasn't _my_ hand fondling _your_ ass! So don't you dare act like this was all me! And would you look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Sasuke's eyes snapped back to Naruto. "Not until you put your clothes back on!" he hissed.

Naruto jumped in shock, causing various body parts to move in unison. He squeaked, and his hands moved quickly in a desperate attempt to cover up. "Why didn't you tell me I was naked?" he wailed.

The tension that had been building in Sasuke lessened at the sight of Naruto's discomfort, and he found himself able to move again. Trying to avoid looking at his teammate, he stalked past the naked man, to the edge of the training pit and the pile of orange lying next to his knapsack. Reaching down, he grabbed the bundle of clothes and tossed it over his shoulder at Naruto without turning around. "Get dressed."

Glaring into the trees that lined the training pit, Sasuke listened as his teammate hastily pulled his clothes on. After a moment, it grew quiet, and though Naruto had finished dressing, Sasuke didn't turn around. He continued to glower at the trees, ignoring his teammate.

After a minute of silence, Naruto began to fidget. "Uh, Sasuke?"

At the sound of Naruto's voice, Sasuke whirled around and launched himself at his teammate.

The action caught Naruto off guard, and he wasn't able to react before Sasuke slammed into him. The two men crashed to the ground in a jumble of limbs. They rolled around on the grass, each one trying to force the other into submission. Naruto grabbed for Sasuke's arm, but the other man was too quick, and he missed. Before he could make another grab, the breath was knocked out of him by a well-placed elbow.

Naruto rolled onto his back, dazed and gasping for air. Sasuke took the opening, and jumped on him. He straddled Naruto's chest, and forced his teammate's arms under his knees, grinding them painfully into the ground. Before Naruto could protest, hands shot to his throat and squeezed tightly.

"You did that on purpose," Sasuke growled menacingly.

Naruto stared up at Sasuke, his eyes wide with shock.

"Do you have any idea how much time we wasted today? How much chakra I wasted?" Sasuke seethed. "What if we were attacked? Do you have any idea what could have happened?"

When Naruto started to respond, the fingers tightened around his windpipe. His eyes bulged out from his head, and only a pathetic gurgling sound came out of his mouth.

"No. You don't get to talk," Sasuke hissed and leaned down until he was an inch away from Naruto's face. "If you ever pull something like that again, I'll kill you. Do you understand?" Naruto nodded frantically, desperately trying to wrench his arms out from underneath Sasuke's knees.

Immediately Sasuke was off of him, and stalking to the edge of the pit to retrieve his knapsack and Kusanagi. Naruto sat up slowly, gasping for air and gingerly rubbing his throat. He watched sullenly as Sasuke sheathed his sword, and swung his bag up on his shoulder. Without a glance back at Naruto, Sasuke started walking towards the trees.

When he saw his teammate leaving, Naruto's shoulders slumped and his head drooped in dejection. Staring at the ground, he shook his head and sighed sadly.

"Oh, and idiot?" Naruto's head snapped up to see Sasuke looking at him, a smug look on his face. "The next time you want to kiss me, ask. Don't you dare pull that frog shit again." He turned and jumped into the trees, leaving Naruto to stare after him, mouth agape.

For a moment, Naruto continued to gaze at the trees his friend had just disappeared into. Slowly, the look of shock on the man's face was replaced by a wolfish grin. Naruto flopped back into the grass, chuckling. He slid his hands under his head, and sighed loudly in satisfaction.

"That was a little low don't you think?" a scratchy voice asked.

Naruto didn't bother turning his head. He recognized the foreign chakra, and knew that the intruder had been there for a while. He smiled up at the moon, now full and high in the sky. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

An old frog dropped out of a tree lining the training pit. She hopped over to the reclining man and glared at him. "The sage techniques are not to be used for seducing your teammates!"

Naruto's head rolled to the side to look at Shima, a triumphant smirk on his face. "Yeah, but it worked."

The old frog raised her walking staff, and hit the man squarely on the head.  
Naruto cried out in pain, and quickly sat up rubbing the knot on his forehead. Shima glowered up at the man. "The sage technique is sacred. You are not to use it in that manner again. Do I make myself clear?" She held her husband's walking stick up menacingly.

Naruto held his hands up in front of himself defensively. "OK! OK! I get it! I won't do it again!" As the frog lowered her stick, Naruto mumbled petulantly,

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"When I received a message this morning stating that when you summoned me today, under no circumstances was I to show up - my curiosity was piqued. I wanted to see what Pa's prized student was up to. If I had known you were going to pull that..." the frog scowled.

"So, you saw everything?" Naruto asked sheepishly, a hand moving to rub the back of his neck.

Shima's frown deepened, and her eyes flicked down to the man's lap. "And then some," she deadpanned.

Naruto blushed.

"I'd like to know how you got the demon to go along with it," Shima continued. "The two of you have been able to get out of that form at least a year now. Why didn't he just change you back immediately?"

"I told him that we were playing a prank on Sasuke. He was thrilled to help make 'that damned Uchiha' look like a fool. He didn't know exactly what I had planned." Naruto shuddered. "He's not very happy with me right now. I'm going to be up all night listening to him screaming."

"Serves you right."

Naruto grinned. "But it was so worth it."

Shima rolled her eyes. "I don't know what you see in that man."

The man chuckled softly. "No one does."

"He's unbalanced," the frog said disdainfully.

Naruto grinned brightly. "Yep. And he's an arrogant, self-absorbed, emotionally-stunted bastard."

His smile faded, and he grew serious. "But for all of his talk about severing bonds and not caring about anyone, when it came down to it - when Akatsuki had me on my back, attempting to rip Kyuubi out of me and Konoha still hadn't arrived - Sasuke was there. It was his team that broke me out of the jutsu. And it was Sasuke who woke me up, and got me back on my feet."

Naruto mimicked Sasuke's deadpan voice, "Moron. You still need to be saved after all these years? You'll never make Hokage at this rate." He chuckled at the memory.

He looked at Shima, his eyes solemn. "It was Sasuke who helped me make Pein and Konan pay for what they did to Jiraiya, Fukasaku and everybody else. And I backed him up when he took on Madara for the destruction of his clan and brother. We fought together like we had never been apart. And when it was over - when we were standing over the bodies of the people who had caused so much pain, he looked over at me and said, "Let's go home." And just like that, I knew it was really over. I knew I finally had my friend back."

Naruto smiled and looked up at the sky. "He's always going to be an asshole, and he's always going to act like he is better than anyone else. Even though I've proven that isn't true multiple times. But I know that when it comes down to it, he will have my back, whether he bitches about it or not."

Shima nodded slowly in understanding, and followed Naruto's gaze to the sky. The two sat in comfortable silence, staring at the moon.

Naruto sighed contentedly, and looked over at his former teacher's wife. "Sorry you got dragged out here. But thanks for not snitching on me to Sasuke."

"I wouldn't have snitched on you." Shima sniffed in amusement, "Although, I thought he was going to kill you when he saw me hiding in the tree."

Naruto turned to stare at her in shock. "He saw you?"

The old frog winced and nodded. "When you were getting dressed. His Sharingan was still active, so even though I'd masked my chakra, he still noticed me. He just kept staring at me with that blank look."

Naruto stared down at the old frog, understanding slowly dawning on his face. "So that's how he knew..." Naruto murmured to himself. His eyes narrowed playfully, "So it's your fault he tried to kill me!"

Shima rolled her eyes. "Please. If he had killed you, it would have been nobody's fault but your own. If you hadn't decided to use a sacred technique to try to seduce your teammate - "

"I didn't try."

The frog paused. "What?"

The man shook his head. "I didn't _try_ to seduce him. I did it." Naruto got a devilish look in his eyes. "And my technique was perfect."

Shima raised her staff, and waved it at the man menacingly. Naruto jumped up laughing. He trotted over to the edge of the training pit and grabbed his knapsack. Tossing the bag over his shoulder, he turned back towards the frog.

Shima was still glaring at him. "You do it again, and I will see to it that you really are stuck in that form. Do you understand me? No amount of kissing will change you back."

Naruto grinned cheekily and saluted. "Yes ma'am."

"Don't 'yes ma'am' me you ungrateful brat," the frog said grumpily. "I'll be expecting you at Myobokuzan at six o'clock tomorrow morning."

Naruto looked at the frog questioningly. "What's at six?"

"Our ponds need cleaning and I'm sure the others have work for you to do. I think that will be sufficient punishment for your behavior today."

"But tomorrow is my day off!"

"You should have thought about that before playing around with the sage techniques," Shima retorted.

Naruto's shoulders slumped, and he sighed heavily. "Fine. I'll be there. I'll see you tomorrow." He waved and hopped into the trees.

Once he was safely out of the old frog's sight, a huge grin broke out over Naruto's face. Everything had gone perfectly. Granted, getting that kiss out of Sasuke had been a lot of work. And he was going to do even more work tomorrow. But it was definitely worth it.

After all, considering Sasuke's reaction, Naruto was positive that he wouldn't have to work nearly as hard for the next kiss.

~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to ff.net on 03/12/09.
> 
> I got this idea when I read "That Night" by nonpareil. It was a great fic, and I highly recommend that everyone go read it. I just wanted to thank nonpareil again for allowing me to take a scenario she created, and letting me run with it. I really hope I did it justice.
> 
> Finally, (and most importantly ;) I wanted to thank xxyour_momxx over at LJ for all of the help she gave me in beta'ing this fic. Without her careful review and awesome suggestions, I never would have gotten up the courage to post this, and I'd most likely still be hiding in my little part of the internet. Thank you again for everything sweetie! :)


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